See these before-and-after photos and behold the latest outrage of the liberal media. For the past 24 hours I have been perfectly content to live in what I now know is blissful ignorance of this cranial calamity -- this hideous and shameful metamorphosis. My charmingly naive peripheral vision and disdain of the vanity of mirrors had kept me from the evil apple of knowledge. But then the liberal digital media in the camera I found irresponsibily revealed to me and to the world that which can only demoralize me, encourage my enemies, and weaken our national resolve.
Only two hypotheses will account for these images. I am either (1) slowly evolving, through some bitter cosmic irony, into one of the Fisher-Price toys I have hitherto tortured in the moist and gummy crucible of my own maw; or (2) I have been enjoined as a Roman Legionnaire in our never-ending struggle against the Gauls.
posted by The Leo at 9:47 AM
2 Comments:
I believe that all future posts on this blog should be screened by the Office of Censorship. The helmet you are wearing may very well prevent our enemies from stealing your thoughts and ideas, but we cannot be too careful in these perilous times.
Dear Raven and Michael --
My favorite Poe enemy has always been the Imp of the Perverse; and at the risk of that term alerting the censors (heh!) we have to remember that, despite his fascination, the Imp was an enemy, for Poe, a perverSION OF FRENCH PROPORTIONS, or of those who "laugh but smile no more," a representATIVE JOHN MURHTA REFUSES TO CONDEMN THE RAP MUSIC CD FOUND IN HIS SON'S CAR, during his early years in New York TIMES CALLS FOR A STRATEGY OF CUT AND RUN. PEOPLE NEED TO BE VERY CAREFUL ABOUT WHAT THEY SAY falling unconscious in a Baltimore gutter.
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