So as I was reading my web news, I couldn't help but rejoice at the fact that the House of Reps is coming ever closer to creating yet another beautiful illegality, prohibiting that most violent and dangerous of activities: flag torching! Only lost by 1 vote this time. Next time the bill comes around, you can be sure that the hooligans who torture us nightly with their incessant flag desecration will be brought to account. Who hasn't been torn from his slumber at least once a week with a barrage of molotov cocktails stuffed with immolating American flags crashing through his bedroom window? Who in this great nation has not stumbled daily over a pile of smoldering Flag left on the sidewalk by the New York Times?
But then my infant mind, ranging about wildly as is its wont, pestered me with a troubling hypothetical scenario. Suppose the America haters began burning flags that were not American Flags per se, but were flags that merely depicted a representation of the American Flag, as in the image above? Good thing I got my skull-cap on, 'cause my brain be about to 'splode right now!
posted by The Leo at 12:05 PM
2 Comments:
ah, I see where your thoughts are headed, crafty Leo -- a "victimless crime," you imply. but nay! how sharply does flag desecration stab at the hearts of patriots everywhere! perhaps not until you've sucked good American air a full six or seven months will you feel the deep amative bond with your native land that I feel. not until then will you know the tragic plight of the patriot, to feel like pinpricks and jabs the un-American acts of un-American Americans everywhere (not to mention those of the countless un-American non-Americans across the sea). ow! i feel... ow! un-American sentiments are being uttered this moment and... ack! gasp! can barely support my typing hands... the pain... a flag... burning... somewhere... (alternatively, I may be having a heart attack.)
Fortify your mind and soul from the unseen barbs of anti-America, dear chager! -- lest you lose your cranium in a Scannersesque detonation! You see in a previous photo that I myself have taken measures against this eventuality.
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